If you’re like most of people, you want to feel successful however, success is something different for all people.
It took me a long time to discover MY true meaning of success.
Early on in my adult life, I thought I had reached the success I was looking for but, I was still pretty empty at times and never felt completely fulfilled.
And, of course, I eventually lost it all. My marriage ended, my business failed and I lost a huge part of my social network that was pretty important to me at the time.
I also lost a lot of the material ‘stuff’ that came with my supposed success and I felt like a true failure.
It turns out that ‘losing it all’ was maybe the best thing that ever happened to me.
I learned many, many important things and I also learned the TRUE formula for success which, I want to share some of the important highlights with you below.
Among the many things I learned, was that success is a feeling and a series of experiences and no amount of money or material items can ever give you that feeling of success long term if you truly feel empty inside.
Hopefully these tips will give you a really good idea of what I am talking about here.
As I tell my clients, make sure to define success on your own terms, having a clear definition of what success means to you.
Also, don’t worry about other people’s definition of success, define what’s important to you and use these 10 tips to help you bring it into your life. Have fun!
1. Do What You Love
It’s a big world with unlimited opportunities, so why wouldn’t you spend it doing the things you love?
From the very beginning as children, we all gravitate toward the things we love in life. These are the things that capture our hearts and imaginations.
Maybe for you it was a particular food or a certain type of movie.
Maybe you discovered a talent you have or an activity that you could spend all day doing. You made the connection between your happiness and the things that spurred that happiness within you.
Then we grew up, and many of us started to move away from the things we love.
We started making choices to live the life we think we’re “supposed to live.” We finished high school, picked a safe major in college, and then settled into a routine job and life that left us unfulfilled.
Does this sound familiar?
Instead of settling for unhappiness, start creating a life around the very things that make you happy.
You did it as a kid and those same principles still apply! Move toward the things you love and spend time doing those things. If possible, make a career out of the passions you have in life.
For young people, this should be easy.
For you grown-ups out there, don’t despair. It’s never too late to take control of your life and make a living from your passions.
Life is meant to be enjoyed, and we enjoy it by doing the things that make us happy. Just follow your bliss and do the things that make you feel good as much as possible!
2. Focus on The State of Being First, Not The End Result
Most people live in the future.
They dream of a life not yet realized. They say things like, “When I have more money, I will be happy.”
Or, “When I meet my soul mate, I will be fulfilled.” Or, “When things change at work, then I will be relaxed.”
But just sitting around, waiting for something to happen, will be a long wait. If you’re depending on something to happen before you are fulfilled or happy, you may be there for an entire lifetime waiting for the exact right conditions.
The key to creating what you want in your life is to get into the state of being of what you desire first.
After that, the thing you desire will manifest in your reality.
- Take your attention off what you think is your current reality and place ALL of your focus on the feeling you will have when you get what you want.
- Rely on that focus to get into that space of already having what you want while making sure to drop any need or desperation you might have.
- Practice this often by repeatedly keeping your focus on the state of being your desire.
Remember, people don’t want the new car, they want the FEELING of having the new car!
Stay in that blissful state and watch your external world begin to catch up in no time.
3. Set Goals and Make a Blueprint for Life
Just like you wouldn’t begin a road trip without a map or intended destination, how can you be expected to arrive at happiness and fulfillment if you have no idea what they look like in your life?
Start by developing a clear blueprint and image for what your life looks like in every area.
Do an honest self-assessment to envision what your desired picture of happiness will look like. Make sure it meets YOUR definition of happiness, not some manufactured cookie-cutter ideal that doesn’t reflect a shred of your personality.
Make that blueprint for your life yours, and yours alone.
- What does your ideal relationship look like? Does your happiness entail having a fulfilling career?
- Are you looking to develop a fun and active social life?
- How about a spiritual life that inspires and motivates you?
Write down your goals and your ideal vision for every area of your life and stay focused there.
Spend as much time as possible purposefully thinking about those goals.
Keep that vision of your goals at the forefront of your mind throughout your day, no matter where you are.
Be sure to dream big and set lofty goals. There are no limits except the ones you place on yourself. You owe it to the world to shine bright and to reach your full potential, so come up with the blueprint and go for it.
Don’t worry about how you will reach your goals. The how will reveal itself as you go.
For now, come up with the clear vision of your ideal life. Set those lofty goals. Believe that they are coming to you and keep moving toward them every day.
4. Accept Things as Perfect & Keep Moving Forward
Too many people hang on to their past. The road of life is filled sometimes with mistakes or missteps that linger.
Worse, many people drag that regret, guilt or resentment with them for a long time. It’s what I call emotional baggage.
All that baggage you carry will eventually shut you down. Many people set up residence in a toxic place over heartaches long gone and people who have moved on.
But successful people don’t do this.
They accept everything that has happened in their lives as perfect and they keep moving in the direction that they choose. They also stay in the present because the present is all that is real.
The reason they accept all their experiences as perfect is because they learn from all their experiences, good or bad.
They don’t beat themselves up because of their mistakes, they learn from them! Can you do this?
Do whatever it takes to make peace with every single thing that has happened in your past. Then focus on the now and put that alongside where you choose to head out from here.
Regurgitating your past through countless useless thoughts and conversations with yourself and others will only keep you reliving that harmful past.
So get rid of those toxic thoughts and tired old stories.
Begin instead to create a new reality, one that is flooded with happiness, excitement and joy.
5. Surround Yourself With The Best People
The people around you matter. Who is in your inner circle? You know, the closest confidantes who listen to you and influence you.
Who are they?
- Are you surrounded by people who are positive influences in your life?
- Are they uplifting, optimistic and push you achieve greatness?
- Are you surrounded with negative, pessimistic, energy vampires who suck the life force out of you?
- Are these people always complaining about everything and everyone as they go about their day?
You want to surround yourself with the best possible people you know because they are a direct reflection of who you are.
You want to surround yourself with people who are making a positive impact in this universe. Make sure they are happy overachievers who are driven to succeed in life.
Find the people that are out to make an impact on the world and your community.
Imagine the characteristics you wish to display on a daily basis.
Now go out and find the people that naturally have those qualities. You always become who you surround yourself with. Guaranteed.
6. Laugh Often
Let’s be honest, most people are WAY too serious about life. But, can you blame them?
From an early age we are taught to fear so many things in the world.
We’re told by many well-meaning people about all of life’s perils and the dangers that are out there. We are told not to trust people, to keep to ourselves.
We are told that life is tough and that life isn’t fair. We’re also told the word “no” tens of thousands of times before the age of 5.
Now that’s pretty serious. It’s no wonder we don’t laugh a lot.
But you have to laugh, it can literally save your life. You have to lighten up.
Hey, successful people laugh…a lot.
They are able to find the humorous moments in most things. They are able to keep things light whenever possible.
They don’t take too many things seriously, especially the little things that don’t matter in the grand scheme of things.
In fact, they give very little thought to the little things and stay uber-focused on the big picture.
Successful people have taught themselves the value of laughter and humor. They find the humor in most of life circumstances and you should, too.
Look for the fun in everything. Find the fun part of your next problem or challenge. Find the fun in life.
Do fun things, and surround yourself with people who will make you laugh. Find humor as often as you can.
7. Forgive Everyone (especially yourself) Easily and Often
Negative emotions can be really toxic.
If you are holding on to resentment and anger towards someone for hurting you in the past, are those negative feelings affecting that person or are they simply poisoning you?
Because when you hold on to negativity, that person is still continuing to hurt you. And you probably didn’t even realize it.
Whenever we are in a resistant state of being, we are a magnet for more resistance, heartache and challenges.
We are inviting the energy we put out to create more havoc in our lives. Most people don’t realize that the state of being is real, so if we stay in that negative space, our pain lingers.
So, for your own sake, let go of the resistance that you may have built up over the years through the experiences in our lives.
Those experiences have created memories that might trigger a wide range of emotions that don’t feel good. So we must recognize those emotions when they show up and forgive the event or the person that may have caused them in order to break free.
Anyone can be resentful and hold onto anger. That’s easy and doesn’t take much power.
True power lies in forgiveness and being able to forgive someone unconditionally. Pure freedom is letting go of something or someone that has caused you to be hurt.
That naturally includes you. Make sure you are forgiving yourself completely for past mistakes or things that may have caused you to feel guilty.
Do everything you can to make things right then forgive yourself and let it go. It will be the healthiest thing you can do for yourself.
8. Have the Right Perspective
Happy and successful people view the world as a wonderful place filled with excitement, adventure and exhilarating experiences.
They look for the their next fun opportunity and their next mountain to climb. They view their experiences in life, both good and bad, as opportunities to learn and grow.
They are thankful for whatever challenges they might encounter.
Even the ones that proved to be the most difficult are seen as extremely important and beneficial. That’s because the most difficult challenges are the ones where you learn and grow the most.
They view each problem in life as a chance to rise above and triumph. They don’t cower in fear and shut down.
They rise up and keep moving forward! They don’t view the world as a dangerous place filled with trouble and difficulty lurking around every corner.
They view it as the ultimate adventure and a grand stage to succeed and shine.
Successful and happy people also keep the bigger picture in perspective and always keep the important stuff as their priorities, never getting caught up in the minutia of life’s little aggravations.
You can do this, too. Have the right perspective and never waste any time on those little things that don’t matter.
9. Feed Your Mind The Healthy Food It Needs
Your mind is like a muscle. It requires exercise, stimulation, rest and the right diet every day just like the rest of your body.
What can you feed your mind for optimal performance?
The best things are empowering thoughts that make you feel good every day. Put those in your mind and see your best life manifest itself.
Think about what makes you happy, what excites you and what motivates you. Focus on what you love about yourself and your life.
Exercise your mind by learning about new things and seeking knowledge from all sorts of sources.
You can also stimulate your mind in tremendous ways through creative visualization.
This process requires you to spend ten to fifteen minutes every day visualizing whatever your goals and desired results are.
During visualization, you bring into your consciousness any images, smells, colors and feelings of seeing yourself in that place you want to be. You mentally have the experience you wish to one day live.
You can rest your mind with meditation as meditation quiets the active, overworking mind.
Meditation relaxes you and puts you in a place where your mind is emptied and you are freed from distractions. By doing this, you’re able to ascend to a higher place and recharge your soul.
You’re absent of pressure, anxiety, stress or anything else that keeps you from being complete and free each day.
Respect your mind for what it is: the most essential piece of equipment you own. Treat it right by giving it what it needs.
10. Be Grateful
The most powerful medicine on earth is right in your hands at all times.
It’s gratitude. All happy and truly successful people know this. They emanate from a point of gratitude, often starting their days by giving thanks.
They are grateful for what they have, their physical health, their intelligence, their loved ones, their material blessings, the experiences they’ve had, the lessons they’ve learned, their freedom, oxygen, the sun…and on and on.
Let’s be truthful: there are a lot of things to be grateful for. There is so much to appreciate.
Put yourself in that space of extreme gratitude and you’ll feel contentment wash over you.
Wake up each and every day being grateful. Prior to going to bed, find the things in your day that you are thankful for.
Keep at this and make it a part of your regular routine.
Successful people are constantly feeding their minds with all that they are thankful for. They banish those negative hangers-on like neediness, emptiness, and limitation.
They are grateful for the simplest things in life and all of the experiences that got them there. Can you say the same?
I suggest making a list of all the things you’re grateful for.
It will help you organize those thoughts and makes a great sheet to keep as a reminder when life may feel overwhelming.
Just look over your list to remind yourself what truly matters and how lucky you are. Keep adding to that list as you remember things.
Remain focused on this step and the previous ones in order to get to a state of being of pure health, happiness and excitement for life!