As a parent of five happy children and as a coach, I understand how crucial it is for kids to have confidence.
It simply helps them succeed academically, socially and personally and will carry them to great heights in their life.
Confidence, or lack thereof, has a huge impact on how your child handles everything from participating in class to maintaining healthy relationships.
I’ve seen this at home, and I’ve seen this on the field and I’ve seen this with the thousands of young clients I have worked with over the years.
You might notice your child struggling with a lack of confidence. Something as simple as a lack of enthusiasm, or as severe as acting out in school and at home.
Don’t stress or feel hopeless as your child struggles, there is an answer and you can help your child gain the confidence to send them skyrocketing to new heights in their life.
That’s why I’ve assembled my top 10 parenting tips to raise confident kids. These are the best parenting tips and when you implement them with your children, you will be thrilled with the results. Enjoy.
1) Highlight Their Great Qualities & Characteristics
Each child born on this earth is different.
Your child will have her or his own unique personality, characteristics, strengths and gifts.
Encourage your child to understand what makes them unique and cultivate those gifts within them.
Discourage your child from conforming to society’s definition of what they should be.
Don’t box them in with your preconceived notions of who they should be.
Encourage them to be unique and radiant.
Each child is unique and wonderful in their own way.
If you have multiple children, don’t let them compare themselves to each other.
Each of them has a special contribution to your household that’s equally important to the harmony of your house.
Let them know what that contribution is and why you value it.
Help them identify their unique physical traits and the great characteristics of their whole person.
Point out these wonderful things that you see, and help them see their true selves when they look in a mirror.
2) Guide Them To Their Passion In Life
As each child is unique on our planet, so too are their interests and passions.
But how will a child know what their passion is unless you help them discover it?
Raising confident kids means helping them find their passion in life by exposing them to different courses, events, sports, cultures, museums and other extra-curricular activities.
Develop a desire to help others and find good causes that you can volunteer at together.
Get them any information they need, mentors who can help them, and any other support to develop their passions.
You’re helping them get started by focusing on what they’re passionate about and exposing them to what is possible in a fun and interesting way!
By helping them find and do things that they love, they will hopefully turn these passions into a career doing work that truly fulfills them.
3) Encourage Them To Dream BIG
Did you know that before a child turns three, they hear the word “no” about 70,000 times?
That’s WAY too often. Start making a habit of saying yes, especially to their hopes and dreams.
Tell them that they have no limitations on what they can accomplish in life.
There is nothing holding them back from becoming whoever they want to be.
Encourage them to dream big and be sure to match their excitement when they share these dreams with you.
When they share their vision for what they want to manifest in their life, be sure to support them with genuine enthusiasm.
Don’t tell them to “be practical” or “be realistic.” Remember, this isn’t what you want.
The ship of their dreams will need your wind in their sails.
Just imagine if someone had told Thomas Edison or Amelia Earhart that their dreams weren’t doable. These people changed our worlds!
Every human is capable of unlimited greatness.
This greatness can only be realized when your child dreams big and you give them the wings to realize their true potential.
4) Set Goals With Them & Keep Them Focused
What percentage of the world would you say has stated goals?
It’s less than 28%. Less than 10% actually write them down.
That means over 90% of people don’t write their goals down.
If you don’t know the destination, how are you supposed to follow any kind of map?
Give your child a leg up by helping them identify their goals in life.
Help them by having them write them down; both their long-term and short-term goals.
Make sure they review their written goals two or three times per day.
This way the goals stay fresh in their conscious minds and become implanted into their subconscious minds.
Writing down the goals helps them identify what they want in life. Reviewing them daily will help them stay focused and further cement their belief that the goals are achievable.
Doing this will lead to their goals becoming a reality.
Using this simple but effective system, they can expand their vision and develop a similar blueprint for virtually every area of their life.
5) Help Them Stop the Comparisons and Live Through Their Own Eyes
Everyone, not just kids, compares themselves to other people. We look to others for acceptance, recognition and acknowledgement.
Kids especially turn to parents and teachers for approval, while looking to their peers and the media to gather an opinion on what they should or shouldn’t be doing, whether or not they’ve succeeded or failed.
You have the power and wisdom to teach your child to live their life through their own eyes.
Only their own opinion of their life performance matters. Their experience and how they manage it, good or bad, is of the utmost importance.
The discovery is the fun part. Help them see that.
Teach them to focus on the things that they have within their control.
Things like having a good attitude, showing determination and enthusiasm, displaying kindness, having resilience, being accountable for their actions, and exhibiting a great work ethic are all values that aren’t going be highlighted by those other influences in your kid’s life.
So take the time to encourage them to live up to their OWN standards. It doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks.
6) Teach Them About Emotions
Your child has an amazing catalog of emotions inside them. We all do.
Help them understand that they are free to experience anything in that catalog on a daily basis.
It’s what makes being human so fun!
Sure, some emotions will leave us feeling better than others. Some emotions make us feel great, while others make us feel…not so good.
But it’s okay to experience the full spectrum of emotions, including the ones that leave us feeling bad like fear, anxiety, pressure and anger.
Let your children know that holding onto those negative emotions can end up having a toxic effect on them.
The person that holds onto them is only hurting themselves.
Show them that it’s perfectly acceptable to acknowledge their emotions and do whatever they can to release them.
You don’t want to give those emotions the power to turn into something bigger or, worse, shut them down.
To help get them to that state of being and excitement often, encourage them to fill their minds with images and thoughts that make them feel good.
You know your child, so guide them toward the things that you know makes them happy (like a fun family member or a trip you took together.)
Be sure to ask them for any newly acquired experiences that make them happy so that you know them, too!
7) Cultivate Their Acceptance of Occasional Failure
If you ever see someone slip and fall on a sidewalk, more often than not their first instinct is to look around and see if anyone saw them.
Why? It doesn’t matter who saw you, because it’s okay to fall. We all do it!
Let your kid know that not only is it perfectly fine to fail, but that everyone does it once in a while.
All of the world’s great success stories involve early failures.
These failures weren’t final, they were merely obstacles on the way to greater successes. They were challenges that needed to be overcome.
Instead of focusing on what wasn’t accomplished, focus on the importance of moving forward despite a challenge.
Your child needs to understand the value of learning from their mistakes. Being human means being accountable for your mistakes and accepting yourself for who you are.
What matters is what they are trying to accomplish not how few attempts it takes to get there.
It’s fine to fail. It’s not okay to judge the failure or give up.
8) Put Away the Negativity
It’s easy to think that our kids aren’t paying attention. Guess again.
Kids are recording on a daily basis the images they see and the words they hear starting in their infancy.
These impressions are stored in their subconscious minds and they are what develop your child’s personality, patterns and habits in life.
So create an environment in your home of gratitude, happiness, encouragement and acceptance. Your entire life should reflect those values.
Do not focus on the negative. Don’t repeatedly regurgitate what’s wrong with life and things and people. And certainly don’t tell your kid what’s wrong with them.
Instead, try to keep your home as stress-free as possible. Create an environment of love, excitement and acceptance.
You’ll be keeping the peace and cultivating an atmosphere that allows the flowering of ideas and feelings that will strengthen the bonds between your family members.
9) Keep Their Minds (and yours) on a Diet
You’ve heard the phrase, “you are what you eat?” Well, the same thing applies to what we put into our minds.
Have a diet for the mind and teach your children to have one, too.
Take what most people do first thing in the morning or right before bed: watching the news or checking in with social media. This isn’t the best idea.
The news and internet headlines are filled with what’s wrong in the world and other fear-based stories.
We then take these stories and talk about them with friends and family in person or through social media.
By recycling these negative stories or negative events in our lives, we’re revisiting the painful occurrences from the past through our thoughts and words. Instead, constantly feed your mind with healthy stuff, the fun thoughts that make you feel good!
And teach your children to do the same.
The more you flood your mind with empowering thoughts of things that make you happy and excited, the better you will feel on a daily basis.
Thus, you’ll have less room in your mind for the garbage that doesn’t make you feel good.
Practice with your child how to become an expert on the thoughts they choose, the words they speak and the beliefs they’re choosing while sticking to this empowering diet for the mind.
10) Stay In The Moment
The past and the future are not real. They exist in our minds.
What is real is the present, this very moment. Stay in the moment because this moment is all that’s real and the only time where you can create greatness.
Help your child stay in the moment with you and great things await both of you.
Teach your kid to not live in the past where they’re replaying past heartaches, guilt and judgments over past mistakes and past events that have caused pain.
Accept the past because there is nothing you can do to change it. Make the decision to learn from past experiences and grow from them.
Teach your child not to focus on the future when tough things like a big test, class speech or ballgame are coming up.
Leave the future where it is and do whatever you can to be happy and fulfilled in this moment.
All of these steps, when used regularly, will leads to confident kids – and help you and your child find fulfillment together.